The Green Onion Tea Party

Welcome back to Wonderland Week on the G.O.B.!  I thought there would be no better way to celebrate Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland than to host a tea party.  Come on in, grab some tea, and have a chair.  Oh, and happy un-birthday by the way!  The Mad Hatter and March Hare have been kind enough to set us up here, quite the spread, though a little… messy.  I wanted to have a fitting celebration, therefore I invited some exciting guests.  The ten most eccentric characters that I thought would fit in at a tea party with my unstable friend, The Mad Hatter.  The rest of the guests are about to arrive so enjoy this half cup as I invite them in.


Oh yes, I’m sure you’ve met Mr. Deadpool.  He was here first thing in the morning dressed in a pink apron with his personal Hello Kitty tea set, he’s been pretty excited.  You might want to take the chair on the other side of the table, things may get… sloppy beside him.

Oh excuse me, I hear chanting…


Well, if it isn’t Animal, the famed drummer from Dr. Teeth and The Electric Mayhem! 

“Yes, yes, Animal we have food.  Please stop yelling at me, you’re getting your fur and hair every where.”   

You wouldn’t mind sitting beside Animal here would you? 

“Oh, no no no, Animal those aren’t drums, they’re cups! Here, I have a special sippy cup for you.”

The Tick

Well that’s great, while I was distracted The Tick slammed in, yelling “Spoon!”, as he jumped on the table.

“Here, sir, let me help you down.  You can sit here beside Mr. Deadpool, get along, try ripping his arm off.”

Great someone else has arrived.

“Oh, Mr. The Tick! I was only kidding… 

“I know, Mr. Pool I’m certain it’s okay… 

“yes, yes I know it grows back, I just would rather the arm off the china… thank you.”

Jillian Holtzman

“Welcome Ms. Holtzman, come in.”

Everybody knows our next guest?  Ms. Jillian Holtzman, an engineering genius from the beloved Ghostbusters.

“Please do have a chair Ms. Holzman…

“…okay, that’s a creepy smile.  Can I take your… lazer gun?”

Plastic Man

“Mr. Patrick “Eel” O’Brian, also known as Plastic Man, it’s so nice to have you here.  I see, Mr. Woozy Winks won’t be joining us today, that’s unfortunate.”

Excuse me!  This is wondeful guests, Mr. Plastic Man has the uncanny ability to change his shape to about nearly anything.

“Okay, Mr. Plastic Man, that’s kind of inappropriate.  Why don’t you give Mr. Deadpool an extra hand?”

Mr. Bean

“Oh, Mr. Bean, do please come in… 

“Yes hello.  Ooh, how nice you brought a gift…

“Oh, it’s my door handle.  Don’t know how that happened, but ok, thank you.  Do have a sit.”

Great, okay everybody make some room, we still have a few more guests coming.

“Mr. Bean, you didn’t have to pack your own tea set in your suitcase.  Oh you have your own flowers in there, how nice… and a teddy bear.  Well while you’re umm, unpacking, I’ll invite our next guest in.”

Spongebob Squarepants

Everybody will be so excited to meet my next guest.  Please allow me to introduce the famous sponge from under the sea, Mr. Spongebob Squarepants.

“Why thank you for the hug, Mr. Squarepants…

“Okay, sure, yeah, just make your way around the table giving everybody hugs than…”

“Ms. Holtzman if you could please refrain from starting any more fires, thank you.”

Do you smell chocolate?

Willy Wonka

“Mr. William Wonka, you’re here!  What a pleasure.  Oh, you brought candy, I’m not sure how much sugar these guests need, but thank you.  Just keep it away from Animal, okay?-

“No Animal, sit!…

“Oh, Mr. Wonka you’re getting a little old for cartwheels.  Please, let me help you up.  It’s okay.”

Hmm, we seem to have nearly everybody.  Who’s missing?  Oh yeah, I wonder if he’s outside?

“Mr. Beetlejuice?, Beetlejuice?-


“Oh, you are here?  I didn’t see you come in, thank you for coming.”

I couldn’t invite The Joker today, on account of all the violence, and you know, killing and stuff.  But, if anybody is matching The Joker’s… madness it is Mr. Beetlejuice!

“Try to keep the monsters under control this time Mr. Juice, thank you!”


Okay.  So, the Warner brothers have arrived, Mr. Wakko, Mr. Yakko and their sister Ms. Dot.  And they literally started bouncing off the walls.

“Hey! Get down from there!-

“Mr. Bean it’s just a bug, please get out from under the table!-

“Oh, Mr. The Tick that’s Mr. Squarepants, please don’t use him to soak up Mr. Pool’s blood.”

Is that Ms. Holtzman making out with Animal?

“I know it’s neat Mr. Beetlejuice, but if you could please stop pulling on Mr. Plastic Man!”

Oh, you’re leaving?  

I don’t blame you, it’s getting pretty mad in here.  Well, thank you very much booknerds for coming.  I have to try and get things under control in here.  Goodbye.


12 Comments Add yours

  1. That is one crazy party! It was almost too much for my mind to comprehend all of those characters together in one room.


  2. This was such a fun read! I lost it at Mr Bean and then almost jumped with delight over Willy Wonka. truly eccentric characters that I think would most certainly “blend” in well at the tea party 😉


  3. This was one hell of a tea party! Would love to have more of these in the future 😛


  4. I love everything about it and already want to see it expanded into a longer narrative with a full-on film adaptation too. This is brilliant. It’s absolutely mad too…but brilliant.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Zezee says:

    Lol lol! Ok Green. See, this is why your computer and phone got messed up. This party got outta hand real quick, I bet, which caused all tech in the vicinity to fail because of all the manic energy. Lol!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Green Onion says:

      It’s possible that my phone ended up in a teapot…

      Liked by 1 person

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