Introducing: Junior Onion Reviews

I don’t know about you, but I am constantly overwhelmed with news, reviews, and announcements of movies in my social media feeds. There are thousands of articles and videos out there of any film imaginable. As much as everybody’s opinions are interesting many of them begin to blend together and repeat many of the same ideas.

It’s a big reason why I hardly offer reviews on the blog anymore. For one, I do get a chance to speak on a bigger platform with my work on such sites like Bubbleblabber. So, for this little blog, which is supposed to be much more freeform, reviews seemed like a waste. I mean, who wants to hear another middle-aged white guys opinion on the most popular films in the world on a tiny little blog.

However, I was approached recently by somebody that does offer a fresh and interesting perspective. Zyler, my son, best friend, and brightest star in my life asked me if he could do some posts on my blog. For those that have not followed this blog religiously, Zyler has been on before in a debate that went off the rails almost a year ago. And, now he wants a taste of the sweet, sweet joy of sharing your voice on the internet once again.

So, together we came up with the idea of reviewing some of our favourite movies. The fact is, a lot of films like Star Wars and Avengers, to name the biggest, are made with kids in mind. Why wouldn’t you want to hear what children think of them? And, Zyler often shares with me an interesting perspective after a good movie.

As a dad this is exciting. For one, my spawn is taking an interest in things that I love to do. Second, he gains experience points, and practice when it comes to writing and sharing ideas. And three, who else would I rather do this with? The kid is just 8-years-old so there will be a learning curve. So, I think the best way to go about this would be to do it in an interview style, where I can ask him questions, and he can answer. It should help with laying out topics, being consistent, and effective. There will also, probably, definitely be some edits for clarity.

Well, with that lengthy introduction, we might as well bring the kid to talk for himself. I hope you enjoy and look forward to the great things in store. Thanks.

Green Onion: Welcome to the Green Onion Blog, Dork Brains! That is what you want to be called right? Dork Brains?

Dork Brains: Noooooooo! I want to be called… Best game player ever!

GO: That’s not what you told me you wanted to be called?

Best Game Player Ever: Oh, I want to be called Junior Onion.

GO: Adorable. Well, Junior, there is some legal stuff we have to get through. For one, let it be on record that you are not at all being forced to do this and it is of your own concord. Second, is it true that your dad is the coolest ever?

Junior Onion: Yes it is true. And I am the coolest kid ever! Obviously.

GO: Sounds good to me. Alright, let’s talk movies. What is your favourite movie of all time? It’s okay if you have a couple, I have a couple like Scott Pilgrim vs. The World and Seven Samurai. But, what are the best of the best, and why do you like them so much?

JO: Infinity War, definitely, I like how he collects the stones and the power, so, Infinity War! It is my favourite.

GO: It is a great movie. And, we have our tickets all ready to go see Avengers: Endgame on Thursday night. Are you excited? Do you want to make any predictions?

JO: I am soooo excited for the movie, and I think the strong ones are going to fight Thanos while the others are going to get their friends.

GO: I’m going to make the bold prediction that Iron Man/Tony Stark is going to have his left arm cut off. Who is your favourite Avenger? And, if different, who is your all-time favourite superhero?

JO: Spider-Man is my favourite. He is so funny. And, he is like 14?… I do not know how old he is.

GO: Yeah, sometimes he is a teenager, sometimes he is an adult. Like, Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse, right? He is funny though. What kind of movies are your favourite? Do you like funny movies, do you like being scared, do you like it when there is a lot of action and adventure, or maybe you like it when a movie makes you feel sad?

JO: I like movies with all that stuff. They make it like it’s real, but not literally.

GO: Speed round!

GO: Star Wars or Guardians of the Galaxy?

JO: Guardians

GO: Captain America or Iron Man?

JO: Iron man

GO: Christmas or Halloween?

JO: This is not a movie, but Christmas.

GO: Lord of the Rings or Harry Potter?

JO: Harry Potter

GO: Marvel or DC?

JO: Marvel

GO: Candy or Chocolate?

JO: Again not a movie. Candy.

JO: that was fun like, really fun.

GO: Okay, let’s wrap this up with a few more questions.

GO: What movie, other than Avengers: End Game, are you most looking forward to seeing?

JO: Detective Pikachu.

GO: Is there a movie that you would like to see made that you haven’t heard of yet?

JO: Shazam 2

GO: All great choices, Zyler. I am excited to see what we can come up with. Everybody should look out for regular reviews coming from the little man. We are officially going to kick this off with one of the biggest movies of his generation, Avengers: Endgame. So, look out for that next week. Thanks everyone.

JO: Thanks.


One Comment Add yours

  1. Nancy says:

    Enjoy Endgame together!


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